brain

Dogs and other animals are sometimes used in Solution-Focused Therapy. That is where I came across these principles. I am fascinated by them. They can be applied well beyond the therapeutic setting.  Think about solution-focused management or solution-focused teaching as you read them. And give me feedback.  I am especially interested in stories where these principles have transformed bad situations.

1. If something’s working, do more of it.
2. If it’s not broken, don’t fix it.
3. If it’s not working, do something different.
4. Small steps can lead to large changes.
5. The solution is not necessarily related directly to the problem.
6. The language requirements for solution development are different than those needed to describe the problem.
7. No problem happens all the time. There are always exceptions that can be utilized.
8. The future is both created and negotiable.

Recently I have been working rule # 6 Re framing the behavior of several students from  “attention seeking” to  “explosive.”   Which I think, better captures what it feels like for those students while still doing justice to the way their behavior impacts others.

My examples come from the residential setting I am most familiar with.

His family visit is postponed due to a family emergency and he storms out of the office, punching and kicking lockers on his way down the hall.  In the dorm at night, she accidentally puts her foot on her roommate’s bed.  Roommate asks her to move her foot.  Instead, she puts both feet on the bed, on and off, on and off until staff are called. Then she starts to scream and cry alternately, claiming its roomate’s fault for correcting her.  High drama ensues, everyone looses sleep that night.

Certainly their behavior attracts our attention.  Very likely, on some level, the explosive or disruptive student knows that.  But  his or her thoughts immediately preceding the outburst probably have absolutely nothing to do with getting our attention.  In one case,  my student acts out and then routinely runs away. She doesn’t want to be with people. She will often seek out one of the dogs for company.  She shows all the remorse of an alcoholic back from a bender.  Telling her to “stop being attention seeking” just isn’t going to cut it.

The language requirements for solution development require we shift focus from the student’s impact on others, to a focus on the student’s thoughts and feelings. And that we focus on the events and environment  that preceded the behavior.

The student needs to learn self-control.  How are we going to help her with that?

The student may have some long established ideas about life that need to be challenged.  What are they and how might we address them?

Most of the time the outbursts are defensive.  The student is afraid and her amygdala has taken over.   This is key.  Forget about all the other problems they have (well actually, all the other problems they cause you). None of them are going to get addressed as long as the student is reactive and fearful.

Be careful here.  You don’t need to go into a long laundry list of past traumas–to explain why she is soooooo afraid and defensive. That will only set the student up as a victim.

Instead, focus on what can we teach her so that the rest of her brain can get control.  She needs a few seconds and she needs to be able to shift her attention.  There a lots of solutions to be discovered mutually, in conversation with the explosive student. But this conversation needs to be focused on the present and the future, not the past.

I will also look at what training or instructions I can bring to the staff at my school so they are better prepared to disarm the bomb instead of pushing the trigger.

One last warning–parents, staff, and peers may resist this work.   They are used to the language of the problem–their problem.  Your so-called “attention seeking” student has caused havoc and people are mad.   They have a list of all the ways she needs to change:  He is arrogant. She is self-centered. They lie.  They want change, now!

Understandably, asking those who have suffered with the explosive child to alter their behavior, even temporarily, may feel like “giving in.”  Why should they change?  They aren’t doing anything wrong! That is when you turn to rule # 3; if something is not working. Do something different.

Tagged as: Amygdala, attention seeking, brain, explosive teens, Kids and Teens, solution-focused therapy

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